


stay gold

by emilia_kaisa



Series: advent challenge 2019 [21]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Disappointment, Friendship, Gen, No Plot/Plotless, Not Beta Read, PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics, Songfic, best bros being best bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21872266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: What if our hard work ends in despair?What if the road won't take me there?Two friends, two Olympic games, two medals.
Relationships: Patrick Chan & Javier Fernández
Series: advent challenge 2019 [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559338
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	stay gold

**Author's Note:**

> We're getting closer to the end!  
> I have strong Patrick & Javi feelings so here we go  
> Song: 'Stay gold' by First Aid Kit

There is a crack on a ceiling of Javi’s room, thin and branched, looking like a slender, leafless tree in a middle of winter, black and sharp against the white paint. 

He keeps on staring at it, tracing all the little lines, and tries to ignore painful churning of his stomach, dull throbbing of his foot and the fact that his pillow is a bit too soft for his liking.

“Well.” Patrick says from his spot by Javi’s side “I’m getting kinda hungry.”

Javi’s stomach twists even more at the thought about food, feels acid raising in his throat and swallows quickly, wincing. 

“I’m not.” he mutters “But I’m meeting my family soon, so they will make me eat.”

“Good.” Patrick says shortly “You look like a ghost.”

That’s such a Patrick way to express his worry that Javi almost smiles, but he’s not really physically able to, his mouth twisting in an ugly grimace, and he’s happy that no one could see them. 

Second and fourth place, laying on a bed and counting cracks in the ceiling, both trying to swallow the feeling of defeat, and failing to do so.

_ What if our hard work ends in despair? _

_ What if the road won't take me there? _

He doesn’t want to cry again. So he decides to speak.

“You okay?” he asks and almost laugh hysterically, because really, it’s kind of ridiculous. Patrick has a medal, not the one he dreamed about, but he has it, and his name carved in the history. 

And what does Javi have, except of utter disappointment. 

“Let me not answer that.” Patrick says darkly, and he shifts a little, probably to look at Javi. Javi doesn’t look back at him, though, because he doesn’t want Patrick to see his red- rimmed eyes and pathetic expression. 

“And you, Javi? You’re okay?”

It’s obvious that he isn’t, but Javi still appreciates the questions, a proof that Patrick cares despite being buried in his own sorrow. 

“I’m fine.” physically, he is, it’s only his heart that is broken “And I’m happy for Yuzu.” he says without thinking, and Patrick lets out a deep, hissing sigh.

“It’s not like I hate the kid.” he says after a moment “I know you like him, and I guess he was the most deserving one in that clusterfuck. But this shit hurts.”

His voice speaks of bitterness and exhaustion, and Javi almost asks if he is going to retire, but he bites his tongue. There is enough of weight laying on their chests, making it hard and painful to breathe. 

Soon Javi needs to get up and meet his family, who are loving and warm and if they are disappointed, they don’t show it even a little bit, and Javi wonders if their love will be enough to help him get up again. 

_ What if to love and be loved's not enough? _

_ What if I fall and can't bear to get up? _

* * *

“And here we are.” Patrick mutters, looking at the sea waving gently in front of them “It feels like more than four years since the last time.”

“Yeah.” Javi breathes out, and then inhales deeply, the air tasting like winter and salt “But we made it.”

“You did it, Javi.” Patrick turns to him, smiling “You deserve it.”

“I think I do.” Javi laughs, his tone light and joking, but his fingers curl around the medal in his pocket, as if to make sure it’s really there “So, what now?”

“Well now.” Patrick chuckles, shaking his head a little “Now, we live.”

_ We're on our way through rugged land _

_ Top of that mountain we wanted to stand _

_ With hearts of gold _

_ With hearts of gold _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
